The second in the Potions Series...

Now that you have put your love future into God’s hands, the next thing is to truly understand what it means to love with a Godly love. Basically, Love is an action word and it is much more than a feeling.

“Agape” is the Greek word for the kind of love that transcends feelings, emotions, and environment. It is the kind of love that God shows us and expects us to show our loved ones. So often we measure the amount of love we give to our significant other on how ‘loved’ we feel. That is to say, when they are not living up to our expectations, we are less willing to perform the actions of love we normally do. Maybe you feel like you are the last on their list, or that they seem to show others more attention than they have shown you. You might have just been through a big disagreement, or they did something that really hurt you. In these times the last thing you want to do is show them love. But God points out a very good point:

Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (NIV) 
Titus 2:4 - These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children (NLT)

Both of these scriptures tasks us to love our significant other, and nothing is said about feelings and it implies that this type of love won’t be easy (hence training younger women to love their husbands and children). Think of all the times that we disappoint, hurt, or angered God and yet He still comes through from us and shows us unconditional love. Shouldn’t we follow our Father’s example?

Agape love means your focus is on your significant other, not on yourself. What this says is, no matter how YOU feel , you still strive to do what it takes to show them love.  If that doesn’t seem fair to you think about it this way: If you are continuously striving to care for the needs of your significant other, and they are doing the same for you, I’m pretty sure that the both of you will experience a happiness that will be blessed by God.

It is not going to be easy, in fact, from personal experience I’ve found it can be one of the hardest things to do. But you have to realize this is what it really means when you say I love you. And God takes our words seriously. Agape love is a self sacrificing love. I heard so many times in broken relationships things like “he said he would always love me” or “she told me she would never break my heart”. It is so easy to say those things when we feel in love, and by that same token, it seems to be just as easy to leave once that feeling is gone. This isn’t God’s design. He takes the promises we make and expects us to keep them. So we shouldn’t say these things unless we mean them (in and out of feelings) and sacrifice self to keep those promises.

That’s a big mouthful, isn’t it? “Well I’ll worry about that when I get married. Isn’t that when all this really matters anyway? I’m just having fun right now.” Yes, this is God’s TRUE design for love within a marriage but notice that I use ‘significant other’ rather than ‘spouse’. There is a reason for this. The reason is that spouse was a significant other long before marriage. The way you treat someone shouldn’t drastically change just because you got married. In order to truly show Agape love we must learn and train in it long before we say the wedding vows. This means that every serious committed relationship we agree to should have the end goal to be marriage (whether the relationship works or not, that should be the purpose of dating). This means showing Agape love early on rather than later. And if you are allowing God to choose, then your efforts in it will not be in vain.

Till Next Time
God Bless
Amanda of Astria Legends

Comments (3)

On October 1, 2012 at 8:01 AM , Sue Runyon said...

Thank you, Amanda. This goes right along with the current Devotional I have been doing.

On October 1, 2012 at 8:32 AM , ifrog crafter said...

What an awesome post! Thank you Amanda!

On October 1, 2012 at 12:43 PM , Anonymous said...

This principle applies to all relationships, siblings, parent-child, friends, etc. The kind of love and the way it is shown or expressed will be different in those different scenarios but the principle of showing God’s love and care to each other whether we feel it or not does not change. Easier said than done, I know, but it is a goal to work toward with God’s help.

The other point is, a lot of people think things will be better or easier after they get married only to find it gets worse or harder because then they are forced to deal with issues they overlooked or did not prepare for during the dating period.