Last fall I asked my pastor, who’s musical, for a drum lessons. I had no idea if I would be any good at it. He started by playing music on guitar and asked me to jump in when I got the rhythm. I had it with in the first half bar. That’s quick. Apparently I have a natural rhythm.
I have been asked to play the drums for our worship this week. My fear set in, up in front of everyone. What if I make a mistake? My pastor said about 90% of the mistakes worship people make the congregation doesn’t notice. Then I thought if they are concentrating on the perfectionism of the music are they worshiping? If I let my fear take hold not only will I make more mistakes but I won’t enjoy the playing. Also I won’t be trusting God. Exodus 23:27 ‘I will send my terror (fear) ahead of you and throw into confusion all the people, (fears, insecurities, false thoughts) among whom you come and I will make all your enemies turn their backs to you.’ God goes before us in all situations and my enemy is Satan putting the fear in me. (In brackets my addition.)
Last week God dropped into my heart all the things I have learned and grown in since he started to heal me and took me out of the prison I was in. Every time I started a new adventure I was afraid. Now I look back and wonder what my fear was about, nothing but false expectations appearing real.
Why are we so afraid? My fear stems from the people who influenced me in a negative way either by being afraid themselves; being critical of what I did or telling me something bad would happen to me if I did that. Those are voices from my past.
One of those fears was when I first got on the back of my husbands motorcycle to go to town to have lunch a thought popped into my mind, what if I get killed on this. God spoke loud and clear, ‘That’s your mothers voice, don’t listen to it.’ Since that time we have taken several trips on the motorcycle and seen Canada from Newfoundland to British Columbia and the USA down to Virginia, Kentucky and South Dakota. I am enjoying it. If I let fear rule me we wouldn’t of had those trips in a unique way and we’ve met many people whom we wouldn’t have in a car.
Fear cripples us. It keeps us locked in a prison of where we are. It prevents us from really enjoying life and doing as God has called us to do. It becomes our comfortable place. Personally sometimes I’d like to be back in that comfortable place. But is the place really comfortable or just familiar? I did not have as much fun back then. I also could not bless people with the gifts God has given me.
Fear is our false perceptions of what might happen, not will happen. We can allow our fear to make these false expectations real in our minds.
One day I will look back at playing on the worship and wonder why I was afraid to start. Ezra 3:3 'Even though they were afraid of what their non-Israelite neighbors might do, they went ahead anyway and set up the alter on its foundations and offered whole burnt offerings on it, morning and evening.'
I pray that we will not allow fear to control us. That we will do the will of God for His kingdom, no matter were it takes us.
9:46 AM | Category: | 11 comments