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I thought it would be fitting to continue the theme of Forgiveness.  Is it easy or hard?
Colossians 3:13 ESV
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

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This week I am going to give testimony to my struggle with forgiveness. I have been able to forgive so many people in my life who have hurt me deeply, even my dad who took my childhood away from me by being abusive.  I was able to forgive him because I knew that his childhood was even worse and he was unnable to break that chain.


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However, I was married for almost thirty years to a man I loved.  Although, there was a lot a room for improvement in our marriage, I never expected him to leave. He left because he said that he fell in love with another woman who was supposed to have been my best friend. We spent all of our time together and he and I even helped her get through her own divorce because her husband found someone else.  I was devastated.

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There was never really any closure since they both disappeared out of my life and she actually was able to lure him away from his children and grandchildren which I found even more unbelievable because he was always so devoted to the children.
This happened in 1995, a few months before I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

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I have prayed for the strength and wisdom to be able to forgive, even though I would not be expected to forget. I have not been successful with the forgiveness, which frightens me because---
Mark 11:25 ESV
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

What can this mean for me?  Will the Lord never forgive ME ?
God knows my heart.  I cannot just say that I forgive, if I truly don't.
The Holy Spirit is in my heart with everything that I do and feel but what about that piece of my heart that doesn't forgive?

Have you been able to truly forgive?

Comments (11)

On September 11, 2010 at 8:53 PM , Christie Cottage said...

Forgiveness is such a hard thing.

I read a blog about forgiveness this week.

We all must learn from the things that have hurt us. I feel that if you do not learn from being hurt, it will happen again and again until you have acknowledged it.

I pray for you SUe.

{{Hugs}}
& Love

<><

 
On September 11, 2010 at 11:04 PM , pfd said...

Forgiveness is always a challenge. Thank you for sharing so openly! Very moving post.

 
On September 11, 2010 at 11:20 PM , Princess Daffy said...

Oh, forgiveness can be very difficult, but we must forgive as we have been forgiven by our Heavenly Father.
There is so much freedom in forgiveness- a releasing of bitterness and poison, and a cleansing of the heart that radiates outward to express the love of our Lord.
For the Christian, forgiveness is not
optional.
I'll be praying for you friend.
God bless you!

 
On September 12, 2010 at 12:53 AM , Anonymous said...

Without Christ we can do Nothing. We Pray always for Jesus to give us his heart and give us the gift and grace to forgive. After all, every good thing we do is all Grace freely given us by the Father. Through constant prayer and petition, our hearts will find forgiveness. God knows we are week, and our very knowledge of our weakness is beautiful in God's eyes.

 
On September 12, 2010 at 7:53 AM , watercolors said...

Sue, sounds like you have many deep scars. Perhaps the deeper the harder to forgive.
Forgiveness for one may come easier than forgiveness for another.

Not only a forgiveness issue but extreme healh issues as well on top of it all.

May the Lord bless you with the forgiveness issue, which in time will happen, but with good health as well.

I had an abusive grandfather which I hated as a child, but was able to forgive him before he died and it made me feel so free of it. Will the scar ever disappear, probably not, but time has smoothed it over and it is far in the background now.

It's probably not easy to share these things and in doing so perhaps you are healing.

Will certainly pray for you.

 
On September 12, 2010 at 10:29 AM , Sherri said...

This is a very difficult area, but don't give up. Remember it is not about feelings but about committment - if you are steadfast in your committment to forgive, satan will eventually give up trying to make you seem or feel unforgiving. Keep your eyes on Jesus, not on the unfairness that has been done to you. Keep your eyes on His love and mercy, and pray for them even when you don't feel like it. And don't focus on what has been done to you because that is where the festering comes from. Focus on Him and your beautiful future in Him! You are wise to even attempt to forgive in this difficult situation, many don't even try, but don't give up because God loves you!

 
On September 12, 2010 at 10:57 AM , Sue Runyon said...

God bless you, Sue. Thanks for sharing your heart.

 
On September 12, 2010 at 1:45 PM , KippysSoMature said...

as others above have written, I am weak and cannot do anything without Him - it is His strength alone working and living in me ~
I cannot forgive, but I ask Him to do it in me and for me, and He does, so that I can. Whatever someone, or the enemy means for evil - God means for GOOD. The war is NOT flesh against flesh - it may seem it is a person who has done this or that - it is of the enemy and principalities

That is what I know...not just believing, I KNOW it. I ask Him to help me KNOW it, and He does.

not easy, hurts tremendously - but He says Forgive - and I say I cannot, so please do it for me...because, I want to do you what you would have me do Lord - even if it kills me :O)

love love love to you for writing this and opening up painful wounds...that is how they heal♥ in HIM alone, Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

Every single post above is such a blessing to me to read, and it is all prompted by you taking the step to open up, Sue. Thank you

 
On September 12, 2010 at 3:15 PM , ZudaGay said...

Sue, thank you so much for sharing this post with us. I think forgiveness can be a very hard thing. I usually have more trouble forgiving myself than forgiving others. I was told some very wise words a long time ago that can be used in many situations. "Act the way you know you should feel and soon you will feel the way you are acting." We often think that we have to "feel" something before we can act on it which really doesn't call on our obedience, it is more of a reaction to our feelings. If we obey and "act" the way we are commanded to act then God will reward our obedience with the feelings we so desire. Which reminds me of a story I once read....

A Chinese woman married a Chinese man whom she loved with all her heart but in marrying her love she also had to live with his mother. She resented her mother-in-law and came to hate her and wish her gone. As her husband was an only child, there was no one else to take in his mother. The wife went to an apothecary to see if there was a poison she could buy to kill off her mother-in-law in such a way that no one would suspect that she killed her. The apothecary went to his back room and returned with a bottle of liquid. He said it was very important that she follow these directions exactly: put two drops of the liquid in her mother-in-law's morning tea and treat her with kindness and compassion then no one would suspect that she was poisoning her and in a few month's time her problem would be resolved. The wife went home and followed the apothecary's directions very carefully. After a week, the women weren't arguing any longer. After two weeks she started feeling acceptance and peace toward her mother-in-law. After three weeks she found that she loved her mother-in-law as much as her own mother and wanted only good for her. When she realized that her feelings had changed she rushed to the apothecary to see if there was an antidote to the poison. The apothecary told the wife not to worry, the drops he gave her were harmless.

 
On September 13, 2010 at 5:03 AM , Julie Riisnaes said...

Praying God will help you do the impossible xx

 
On September 13, 2010 at 5:48 PM , sammysgrammy said...

Sue, the comments on this post are so awesome. Every one is so true and one built upon another to create an entire body of truth.

I have had a tug of war with this issue and finally asked the Lord to show me how. He took me to Matthew 18:21 to the end. I learned so much from this chapter when I dug into it. I saw that Jesus compares debt/offense/insult/hurt/injury with money/cash/$$$$. I began to see that when people get injured plysically - say, on the job, or in an auto accident, they may get a cash settlement to compensate for their injuries. How does that work spiritually. If I've been hurt/offended/injured and I want to release the offender from the debt he owes me, what currency can I use to cancel that debt owed me?

The currency I can use is My Father's wealth. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, all things were made through Him......Is there a sin He cannot forgive? No. How much forgiveness does He have then? Uncountable, unimaginable, no end, eternal. I can use a little of that and release the offender from the debt he owes me.

Very important: offender DOES owe you a debt. That's why we say, I OWE you an apology. You have compensation due to you just like the person hurt in a car accident. Compensation is meant to make up for your loss. In a car accident you may have lost time at work/income, you may have lost use of an arm or leg. You have sustained loss..........

I'm sorry, I can't write any more on this subject. It would take too long for anyone to read. Someday, I will do a post sharing the revelation.