I thought it would be fitting to continue the theme of Forgiveness. Is it easy or hard?
Colossians 3:13 ESV
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
This week I am going to give testimony to my struggle with forgiveness. I have been able to forgive so many people in my life who have hurt me deeply, even my dad who took my childhood away from me by being abusive. I was able to forgive him because I knew that his childhood was even worse and he was unnable to break that chain.
However, I was married for almost thirty years to a man I loved. Although, there was a lot a room for improvement in our marriage, I never expected him to leave. He left because he said that he fell in love with another woman who was supposed to have been my best friend. We spent all of our time together and he and I even helped her get through her own divorce because her husband found someone else. I was devastated.
There was never really any closure since they both disappeared out of my life and she actually was able to lure him away from his children and grandchildren which I found even more unbelievable because he was always so devoted to the children.
This happened in 1995, a few months before I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I have prayed for the strength and wisdom to be able to forgive, even though I would not be expected to forget. I have not been successful with the forgiveness, which frightens me because---
Mark 11:25 ESV
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
What can this mean for me? Will the Lord never forgive ME ?
God knows my heart. I cannot just say that I forgive, if I truly don't.
The Holy Spirit is in my heart with everything that I do and feel but what about that piece of my heart that doesn't forgive?
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